Supreme Court rules DOMA unconstitutional

Well, well, well.  Hello there Inner Thoughts & Outbursts readers.  It's been quite awhile since I've last written here; I fell out of the habit of blogging and, until today, didn't feel compelled to sign in.

Today, though, things changed.  Today, the Supreme Court of the United States ruled that the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) was unconstitutional.  Today, I felt like I was witnessing an important part of history.

I've been a supporter of same-sex marriage from what I consider "the beginning" (at least, my beginning)—when my home state of Massachusetts legalized gay marriage in 2004.  (I even wrote about it for my college newspaper, but, alas, some things on the Internet aren't forever... I can't find the links.)  I have always maintained that gay rights are civil rights and that the benefits of marriage should be available to all. 

That being said, I'm also someone who is easily overwhelmed by sad or frustrating news.  I find myself having to look away when the news covers tragedy after tragedy—tsunamis, wars, bombings, misery....  And I feel my blood pressure rising when foolish politicians yammer on and on while taking away basic human rights and imposing their views upon others.  So I wasn't actively following the case to overturn DOMA; it was simply too hard on my heart to follow its ups and downs.

But this morning, I saw that a ruling was expected.  While at work, I started listening to the news and refreshing the blogs.  When the announcement was made that DOMA was ruled unconstitutional, I burst into tears at my desk.  A coworker asked if I was okay, and I was so choked up I couldn't answer for nearly a minute. 

I certainly wasn't expecting to cry.  I feel strongly about equal marriage rights and benefits for all, but I didn't expect to tear up when I heard the news.  I expected either feelings of triumph (I had those) or more blood-boiling frustration (none of that, thanks to the outcome), but not tears.  So why?  Why did I react so strongly?

I think I started to cry for two reasons.  First, I felt like the DOMA ruling was some good political news in a world that is increasingly full of political decisions and efforts that break my heart and raise my blood pressure.  Secondly, and perhaps most importantly, I felt relieved that my gay friends and family now had this one victory in their corner.  That should their partners end up in the hospital, they'll be allowed to visit.  That they won't have to pay more for their health insurance.  That when a partner dies they won't have to pay ridiculous taxes and fees, like Edith Windsor, the woman who took her case to court and won today.

As a country, we still have a long way to go.  Today's ruling doesn't "allow" same-sex marriage in the United States; it just awards federal benefits and protection to couples who have married in states where gay marriage is legal.  But, it's a start.  And my heart is happy tonight knowing that someday, I'll be able to dance at a family member's same-sex wedding without worrying about whether or not he and his partner will be treated equally by the law. 

How to feel great about yourself for $2.74

It's been over a year since I last wrote about the Prison Book Program.  In March 2010, the Prison Book Program ran a dictionary drive.  I sent in a donation to cover the cost of five dictionaries and was so impressed by the organization that I started volunteering with them.

In the past year I've worked to set up a blog featuring essays and artwork from inmates who write to the Prison Book Program.  I've donated books, sorted mail, packaged books for inmates and worked the organization's postage machine.  I've recruited a few friends who now volunteer on a regular basis, typing up essays from inmates and sorting through donated books.  In short, I've become involved in an organization doing good work and I'm glad to be a part of it.  

Now, the Prison Book Program is running another dictionary drive.  Inmates use dictionaries to improve their spelling and vocabulary.  They use them to check Scrabble words and to help solve crossword puzzles.  These prisoners are using dictionaries to improve their lives by making positive choices that focus on education. 

Please join me in donating to the Prison Book Program's dictionary drive.  $2.74 will buy you a large cup of iced coffee, or provide an inmate with a life-changing dictionary.  A mere $13.70 provides five prisoners with dictionaries (or it might buy you a movie ticket and—if you're lucky—a small popcorn).  You can change the life of 20 inmates by donating $54.80—the price of a dinner out. 

So, consider skipping one cup of coffee, a movie ticket, or a dinner out with your partner and change a life instead.  The warm fuzzies you'll receive will be worth it.

Last-minute Christmas gifts that come from the heart: Donate to charity this Christmas

If you haven't pinned down the perfect gift for Great Aunt Suzie yet and you don't know what to get your friend that has everything, fear not! Rather than pawing through the droopy poinsettias and the sausage sets at the grocery store for last-minute Christmas shopping, consider giving a charitable donation.

Why do charitable donations make great last-minute gifts?

• For starters, you can donate to most non-profits online in an instant. Many, like Heifer International, a non-profit that gifts of livestock and training to impoverished families, allow you to send an e-card or print a card at home to notify the recipient of a gift.
  
  
• Secondly, donations to charity are tax deductible expenses. You can save money on your taxes and do good at the same time!
  
  
• Practically speaking, there are plenty of people who don't need more "stuff." And there are certainly people on your last-minute gift list who don't need a random gift picked up at a convenience store. Making a donation to charity lets someone know that you're thinking about him, without adding to his clutter.
  
  
• Donations to charity are the "gift that keeps on giving". Not only do you feel good about making the donation, but your recipient feels good about being a part of the gift. The organization to who you choose to donate feels great because they get much-needed money to provide much-needed services. And the recipients of those services feel good because they're getting the help they need! Many charities even accept recurring donations online, which continue to the giving! The Massachusetts Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals, for example, is set up to receive either one-time donations or monthly donations.
  
  
• Think donating just cash is a bit boring? You can send more than just money. With The Gorilla Foundation, for instance, you can support the amazing Koko, a gorilla who knows American Sign Language, by sending an item off The Gorilla Foundation Wish List. Currently on the wish list? A DVD of the STOMP performances (for the gorillas to watch) and things like laptops and cameras for research. You can send any of these gifts in an instant via Amazon.com, and can even send the foundation gift cards.

So instead of braving the crowds for the next few days to finish your Christmas shopping, cozy up to your computer with a cup of cocoa and donate to a few of your (and your recipients') favorite charities. You can even check the validity of your charity of choice with an agency like Charity Navigator, which evaluates and examines non-profits before providing them with a rating. And if you need a few ideas for some charities that could use some love this Christmas, here are a few of my favorites (with links straight to their donation pages):

• Horizons for Homeless Children
  An organization that enriches the lives of homeless children in Massachusetts through high-quality early-education services.
  
  
• Make A Child Smile
  Such a simple but important mission: to be a source of support to children with chronic or life-threatening illnesses and their families by having folks send cards, letters, and small gifts to the featured children and their siblings.
  
  
• Prison Book Program
  Featured on IT&O before, the Prison Book Program provides quality reading material to inmates across the country, many of whom are working to better their lives by educating themselves and becoming literate.
  
  
• Special Olympics A world-wide organization changing lives of people with intellectual disabilities by providing Special Olympians with access to sports and the camaraderie of a team.

There are also dozens of local charities that need your support. To find one in your area, you can search via Network for Good or Just Give.

Happy holidays!

Spring has sprung

Spring has sprung! (Or, the crocuses have, at least.)

This weekend marks the official start of spring, but the sun is shining, the snow has melted, and the crocuses in my yard are blooming bright purple and white. Teeny little tufts of green grass are poking through the lawn, and my lilies are slowly poking up from the dirt. I've dusted off my flip flops and optimistically stowed away my winter jacket in a closet. Since it feels like spring, all that's left to do is to wait for Saturday's First Day of Spring announcement, and it's official.

I am one of those hearty New Englanders who actually enjoys all four seasons and extols the virtues of fall foliage and winter snowfalls. I like to haughtily turn my nose up at people who bemoan the weather and the gloominess of winter. Secretly though, I'm glad to see it go. I love a white Christmas and making snow angels, but I hate shoveling and driving in Boston traffic when there's a storm. So I'm understandably excited to see a few days of sunshine; my spirits have lifted considerably! I love that I can go for a walk with a light sweater instead of bundling up in a long winter jacket complete with scarf, hat, gloves, and boots. Ahhh, spring!

In fact, I believe I'll go take advantage of some of that almost-spring sunshine right now...

What are you still doing here? Get outside!

2010 Winter Olympics open in Vancouver

The 2010 Winter Olympics begin tonight in Vancouver and I'll be watching.

Though I'm not much of an athlete and I don't really follow sports, I always love watching the Olympics. Something about the pageantry, the Parade of Nations, the chance to see people excelling at what they love... it warms my heart. I love to cheer on the United States, the underdogs, and whoever catches my fancy.

CNN ran an opinion piece today by Fulbright scholar Robert A. Kaufman about why the Olympics matter. The piece mentions a story about the 2006 Olympics; Canadian cross-country skier Sara Renner entered her race as an underdog, having placed "no higher than eighth" in Olympic events four years earlier. In the middle of the last heat, however, Renner's ski pole broke, effectively knocking her out of the competition.

Opposing ski coach Bjørnar Håkensmoen saw what happened and handed over his Norwegian team's spare pole. Renner and her teammate completed the race with a second-place finish, while the Norwegian team didn't medal.

Kaufman continues to explain that Renner was so touched that she gave Håkensmoen a big thank you and a bottle of wine. The Canadians were so touched by Håkensmoen's kindness that they developed Project Maple Syrup, which shipped over 7,000 cans of the nation's pride and joy to Håkensmoen and Norwegians. Håkensmoen, for his part, remains humble about his part in the story, saying simply that "It was natural for me to do it, and I think anyone should have done it."

Kaufman encourages his readers to remember the collaborative spirit of the Canadian and Norwegian cross-country teams as they tune in to tonight's Olympic festivities. He encourages viewers to not only root for the United States, but for all nations participating in the Games.

I agree wholeheartedly. While I wish the United States much success, I also hope that the Canadians can win some events "at home" and that some of the underdogs have a chance to shine. Regardless of the Games' outcome, I am eager for another chance to cheer on my country and the athletes of the world.

So tune in tonight to watch the Olympics on NBC!

TGIF

Friday nights hold a special wonder for me.

What I love most about Friday nights is that they lazily stretch out before you. You have no obligations! In fact, the whole world seems preoccupied with relaxing, so you're nearly always sure to be left alone and you can do whatever you want. And though I enjoy the company of my friends and family, I'd prefer to reserve Friday nights for just me.

My favorite Friday nights aren't spent at a club or a fancy restaurant. Instead, they start with no expectations and no commitments. A typical Friday night usually begins with my changing into comfy pajamas, eating something delicious and warm (bonus points for anything cheesy, gooey, crunchy, or salty), and drinking some wine or a big mug of hot chocolate. Then, I proceed to do whatever I feel like.

Sometimes I borrow half a dozen movies from the library spend Friday night kicking off a weekend of watching them all. Other times I borrow half a dozen movies and decide to ignore them and not watch any at all! I spend many a Friday night catching up on DVR-ed TV shows, reading chapters upon chapters of books, or playing Tetris until my thumbs are sore. Other Friday nights I take a bubble bath, paint my toenails, or putter around the house with beauty potions and pastes on my skin and in my hair.

The best thing about Friday nights is that nearly everyone is unwinding in his or her own way from a long week at work, so it's unlikely that you'll have any specific responsibilities. There are no doctor's appointments to rush to, no banking that can be done, no commitments to keep. For a few precious hours, nothing lies behind you but another completed work week, and nothing stands in front of you until the rush of Saturday morning. For a few glorious hours you can do whatever you want.

I love my Friday nights because they help me unwind from one long week and prepare me to gear up for another. For a few hours I can be selfish with my time and do whatever I want to do. Sometimes, it's the only few hours of my week that aren't pre-scheduled -- with commitments or fun. Even though I love participating in my sign language classes and going to the theatre, sometimes they those things run the risk of becoming just another item on a list of errands, appointments, and tasks. Friday night is the one block of time I can nearly always count on to be open for anything.

With that in mind, please pardon me. I think it's time for a novel and a bubble bath. Or perhaps another glass of wine and a few games of solitaire. Or maybe an hour of Project Runway and a pedicure... The night is young!

Sports for the soul

I love a news story that makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Bonus points if it has to do with underdogs or kids doing amazing things.

Remember the story a few years back about the autistic boy who was allowed to play in the last game of the season and ended up scoring several points, including a just-before-the-buzzer three pointer? (Here's the video, if you need a refresher.)

Back then, the story made me teary. I was so glad that this kid got his chance to shine, doing something he loved so much. Everyone was genuinely excited to see Jason McElwain not only play the sport he loved, but succeed at it too. The community rallied around him and celebrated his achievements.

Today, I stumbled across a similar story. This one didn't make the mainstream media -- I found it on a website that covers Kansas City sports -- but the sentiment is every bit as heartwarming.

Matt Ziesel is a fifteen-year-old freshman at St. Joseph Benson High School. He is also five feet, three inches, 110 pounds, and (as of last week) had yet to play in a real game. But at last Monday's game, with the opposing team up 46-0, the Benson High coach, Dan McCamy, called a time out and sent Ziesel into the game.

KansasCity.com reports that Coach McCamy went over and spoke with the opposing team's coach, saying “I’ve got a special situation. I know you guys want to get a shutout. Most teams would want a shutout, but in this situation I want to know if maybe you can let one of my guys run in for a touchdown.”

The opposing team cooperated, allowing Ziesel to run 60 yards for a touchdown, but keeping pace with him the whole run so as to make the moment feel as realistic as possible. As a result, Ziesel was able to score his first touchdown, and two communities were able to share in the joy of seeing a boy accomplish his dreams.

Sports, like many organized activities, offer kids the chance to participate in something that makes them part of a team, makes them feel included. I'm a big fan of anyone who includes children with special needs in their activities. It may not always be easy, but it's always worth it. Just ask Matt or the basketball player if it was worth it. I'm sure they'd say it was.

Happiness is

... a capella shows.
... antique postcards.
... birds at a feeder.
... board game marathons.
... dairy-free ice cream.
... dogs in argyle sweaters.
... finding the right vintage postcard.
... a fireplace and a good book.
... fleece blankets.
... freshly-baked brownies with crunchy edges.
... fresh-blooming lilacs.
... fuzzy friends.
... gerbera daisies in full-bloom.
... getting a manicure.
... giving people presents.
... goofy office supplies.
... good jazz.
... having your birthday remembered.
... kicking butt at Texas Hold 'Em.
... making cupcakes.
... musicals.
... nachos for dinner.
... photo booths.
... the smell of leather baseball gloves.
... sourdough toast with butter.
... sunshine.
... Tchaikovsky.
... trivia games.
... used books and used bookstores.
... vacation time.
... warm summer rainstorms.